One Hell Chorus:

your pot roast is cold!!!
are you happy jeff!!!!
are you happy jeff!!!
your pot roast is cold!!!!!!

my future wife says it to me Often
in my Nightmares of her
and throws stuff
and sounds like Talia Shire,
except fatter.
['pot roast' can also be replaced with 'supper', but not really.]
[sounds fatter, i know,
i'm right there with you.]

in my Dreams of Future Wife which,
like my Nightmares, are terrifyingly informed by Socially Imposed Blah Blah Blah Nevermind,
who cares, it's nothing like that.

i often Console Myself with Positive Thoughts of my Future Wife,
Wherenever I May Find Her.

Future Wife,
the fact that you find me Attractive inevitably makes you Less Attractive.
why are you even married to me, Future Wife.
just kidding. the fact that you find me Attractive is the Most Attractive thing about you.
just kidding. it's your ass. just kidding.

Future Wife,
i'm thinking 'Chief' if it's a Boy,
'Dystopia' if it's a Girl.

Future Wife,
you don't deserve me, Future Wife.
this is a compliment or Degrading,
depending on who is In the Office when you Call.

Future Wife,
i agree
but can you at least admit that i thought of it, first?

Future Wife,
marriage is so creepy.
anyway, we're not getting married.
WHY WOULD I BUY THE COW WHEN I CAN GET THE MILK FROM A BUNCH OF PLACES, PROCESSED, AND REFRIDGERATED, WITH A CLEARLY MARKED EXPIRATION DATE, AND EVERYTHING.

Future Wife,
just hold me!!!!!!!!