THERE ARE THINGS THAT ARE IMPORTANT:

ivanka trump
has really great
hair.

what kind of conditioner do you think she uses?

ivanka trump saw a homeless guy once. on my tv
ivanka trump seemed shallow, but poised.
when ivanka trump speaks, i wish i was her syllables.
if ivanka trump asked me to masturbate
while she read white supremacist literature,
out loud, i would probably do it.
her hair is gold.

if ivanka trump had leukemia, her hair might be threatened.
she doesn't, though. neither
do i. we're both lucky
at our own temperatures.
ivanka doesn't seem to have much of a "social conscience,"
but that's okay. you can borrow mine, ivanka
I DON'T USE IT THAT MUCH.

sometimes i really worry that i'll meet a "girl of my dreams," and know it,
and then she'll turn out to have my mom's name.

this would never be an issue
with ivanka.