COUNTRY HONK.

it's so hot, i might never move from this spot again.
it's so hot, we are practically 'in fallujah.'
someone's got a case of the fallujahs!!
it's so hot, my thermometer stopped trying.
it's so hot, i melted.

it's so hot, i read a book.
richard nixon bowling alone
in a basement
in my head
is the best thing that happened to me
today. it was in the book.

i need a window air conditioner.
i don't even care if technically
my Increased Demand for Electricity
Drives Up the Price of Electricity
and makes it harder for poor people to have
electricity.

i don't know if electricity works like that.
the point is,
i don't even care. fuck poor people. it's so hot,
i sat and read a book.

all i can really say, or think, or feel
is how hot it is. i am a Walking
Complaint. drunk and dumbed
with heat? PURIFIED BY FIRE.

if you get me a big cup of ice,
we can talk about our weekends.
otherwise, it's all readings from the Book of Job,
all the time.

it's so hot, i found my destiny.
to be the one tv weatherman
who's not afraid to show his feelings!!!!

it's going to be in the fallujahs all week,
next week,
so stay cool.